Shit just got real yo!

My first choice of having a natural birth went out the window last week when my doc confirmed that any tearing during delivery will likely end up as a keloid. Scars don’t bother me, I have always healed badly, but just the thought of a keloid on my sensitive bits makes me want to cringe 😣
I must say I was really disappointed with the change in plan. I’m dreading the post op recovery. But I rather have an uncomfortable 4-6 months than an uncomfortable rest of my life! Now that I have had a few days to think on it I’m quite excited. A c-section means we have a date (16 Nov) and I can plan and be ready. Heck I can even set my hair!
I’m torn at the moment between wanting time to fly by so I can hold this little acrobat that’s keeping me up at night with her antics and wanting time to slow down so I can maximise my one on one time with A before she becomes a big sister. It’s a tough one. 
I’m also ridiculously uncomfortable. My hips are killing me and my vagina feels the way your face looks when you bite into a lemon. That’s the only way I can describe it. And that’s on a good day. Other times it’s like I have been turned inside out, beaten with a baseball bat, turned right side out and then sent on my merry way. Soooooooooo sore! 
Anyway, just a little longer. And I’ll do it all over again if it means getting our little girl. 
My husband has been such a star. He’s picked up a lot of the slack in terms of entertaining A when I just don’t have the energy and doing household tasks that I took for granted. This is on top of working flat out on his website  and getting ready to start job hunting for next year. We’re all stretched pretty thin at the moment.
Such an exciting and surreal time. Just a few more things to sort out this week and then we will be baby ready. My MIL arrives on the 13th just in time. My mum is also coming to stay after the hospital so both grannies will be around to make sure A doesn’t feel left out in those first few weeks. 
Aaaaggggghhhhhh! I’m so excited!


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