-Parenting- · Baby · Breastfeeding · family · Love · Motherhood · post natal depression · sahm · Toddlers

I’m starting to hate breastfeeding

Ok, that’s not entirely  true. I hated it long before I started. Now it’s just my stubborness that is keeping me going. 

Let’s go through some pros and cons shall we?

Pros

  • Health benefits 
  • It’s free
  • Cuddle time
  • No bottles to wash and sterilize

Cons

  • There is a little person attached to my boobs for almost 10hours a day. 10 HOURS!!!!! I love her but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
  • Not being able to share the feeding is exhausting. It means being the one to wake up every hour or two hours throughout the night. Sometimes a feed lasts thirty minutes and sometimes three hours. 
  • The tiredness is making me feel really depressed at times. It’s even worse on cloudy or bad weather days. Everything just feels so overwhelming that the tears are rolling before I even know what’s happening.
  • I hate having my boobs hanging out. I’m a private person when it comes to my body. I don’t even hug people very often. Being exposed like that even if it’s just my husband there doesn’t feel great to me. What’s weird is how accepted it becomes. My MIL doesn’t even leave anymore when I need to feed the baby. I will fiff and faff trying to kill time hoping to get some privacy at least until I can latch baby and semi cover up but it doesn’t always work that way. 
  • I just want my body back. I want to wear normal padded bras and not leak all over. 

    But then I look down at her when she’s feeding and that ridiculously small hand is resting so trustingly on my chest and I wonder how I can be so selfish. So I will suck it up and suffer it out for as long as I can. If I really feel like this is affecting my mental health then I will start formula feeding but until then I will do my best to give this little baby the best start to life that I can.

    12 thoughts on “I’m starting to hate breastfeeding

    1. Hang in there! The intense feeding doesn’t last forever. After the first six weeks we worked on trying to do longer feeds so we could stretch her out to 3 hours ish between feeds (between the start of one feed to the start of the next feed so that includes feeding time. I wasn’t a drill sergeant about it – if she didn’t seem able to make it after a little bit of stretching her out I fed her. Once I got there I could develop more of a routine around it and things went more smoothly. I’ve never loved breastfeeding but enjoyed it more this time around. She wouldn’t take a bottle which is probably luck as I may have just caved and put her on formula by now if she had. At least if I switch her now she has made 6 mths and I wouldn’t have to sterilise bottles. It’s such a pain in the A compared to portable boobies 😉 You can do it!!

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    2. Hi there! Oh, I can relate. I am breastfeeding my second daughter and it does get better and easier. Promise. I used formula with first daughter after 8/9 months and weaned her onto bottles exclusively well before her first birthday. It was so difficult to get her off the bottle however, when it was time to let that go too… Baby 2, 15 months already, still loves Mommy’s milk +- three times a day – and when she drinks otherwise – it is out of a sippy cup. No bottles at all! What a pleasure.

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    3. I too feel like I have a baby constantly attached to me. He just learned to bite down today too. My goal is 1 year, and it’s only been 13 weeks. It’s stressful, but I think worth it. I made it with his two brothers, so I hope to again.
      You have to do what’s best for your sanity. I know I have shed more tears this time around.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m only at 3.5 weeks at the moment. My goal was 6m or her first tooth but I don’t know if I’m going to make it. But saying that I know that if I can just get a decent nights sleep I will be able to carry on. It’s the tiredness that is getting to me more than anything I think. Well done on breastfeeding three kiddies. I take my hat off to you 😊

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        1. My problem right now is producing more milk than he can eat. For example he is sleeping longer stretches now, but I start to hurt before he wakes and have to pump for my own comfort. 😦 I know I should probably try to suffer through the pain, and only pump when I am away from him to get my supply to drop a bit, but then I’d worry that when he has a growth spurt and needs more that I wouldn’t have enough to satisfy him. I just woke up needing to pump, only to have him wake as I was finishing. He only took half of what I pumped, so I am glad I did. If he had woken up before I did, he would have nursed for a longer session than I pumped for and then I still would have had to pump for relief afterward. I had only slept for about 3 hours before I had to get up, and now I am hoping he’ll let me get 2-3 more hours before he needs to eat again. The sleep deprivation is partly my fault though. He went to bed about 3 hours before I did. If I had gone to sleep at the same time I probably still would have woken up needing to pump, but I would be more rested which surely would help my attitude/mental state.

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        2. I know what you mean. It makes sense to get to bed as soon as the baby sleeps but it’s also nice to have some time to yourself. The night is the only time my husband and I get to hang out with both the girls sleeping. It’s worth sacrificing some sleep…most nights 😂
          It’s good that you have extra supply though. Then you can freeze it for when you need some time away. If baby takes a bottle?

          Liked by 1 person

    4. You can do it mama!! I’m now at 3 months and boobs are just starting to behave. Plus she’s sleeping almost 10-5 after a good yell at 9pm. Gives her a good lung and physical workout and then passes out 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    5. Yes. I’m abt to write a near identical post in a few days. My baby is 14 months and has several allergies so I just kept breastfeeding to hopefully give her a few more antibodies… or something… some days I can’t remember why I’m still going… bottom line because I love her and want the best for her. And as mothers that’s what we do, sacrifice our bodies and sometimes our temporary happiness and go all in. Like the others said hang in there, take breaks and walks and bathe in sunshine when you can.

      Liked by 1 person

    6. I was the first mom in my family to breastfeed and I breastfeed for 10 months now that he’s 18 months I still miss those moments it does get much easier and once he was 6 weeks I began to pump

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    7. Hang in there! It gets easier – it really does!!! You’re still at a very early stage and your boobs are probably still adjusting to your baby’s volume needs, and they are probably still physically adjusting as well. Both you and baby will start becoming pro in a few weeks. I’m 11mon into feeding my second baby and I can assure you it does become easier; although I will honestly say that I dislike breastfeeding and CANNOT WAIT to be done! It’s hard and tiring for such a supposedly natural thing. But it’s best for our babies, and that’s why we do it. I encourage you to breastfeed as much as you can, but if you decide not to and when you decide to go to formula, don’t hate yourself. Baby will be just fine!

      Oh – and don’t feel bad for standing up to any family member regarding privacy for breastfeeding. It’s YOUR body and YOUR baby, so set boundaries! Start as you mean to go!

      Liked by 1 person

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