I have always been a bit of a loner. If given a choice I would much rather be at home than do something social. I have a few very close friends that have been around for almost half my life and I have been quite content. Since having kids though, I feel as if I’m not setting a very good example. While I don’t think there is anything wrong with being an introvert, I also want to show my girls that it’s ok to put yourself out there and meet new people.
When we moved here in April it was quite lonely. I wasn’t entirely happy with the move to Jhb (a place I never saw myself living) and just felt a bit lost. I’m not that close to our immediate family here and besides my two cousins I didn’t know anybody else. Normally this would have been fine but I could also see that my eldest needed company. She was only starting school in September and we seemed to be the only people who used the amazing play area in our complex. So I decided to bite the bullet and start a Playgroup. I posted a request on Facebook asking if there were any other stay at home mums in the area who wanted to hang out. I didn’t expect more than one or two responses but in a few days I had about twelve mums who wanted to meet. I was horrified 😂😂 I had mentally prepared myself to socialise with two or three new people but TWELVE?! Needless to say, I started to panic and contemplated cancelling the whole thing. The area that we live in is quite fancy and its not uncommom for mums to stay home and still have a nanny for each child. Each. Child. I kid you not. In case you were wondering, I don’t fall into that category. I’m the primary caregiver, cleaner and cook at home. I worried that I had gotten in over my head and wouldn’t be able to relate to anyone. We didn’t even have a second car let alone a second nanny. I stressed and panicked but I didn’t cancel that first playdate. And I’m so glad.
In the past few months I have met some really cool women. Some look after their kids full time, others run their own businesses and have flexi time at home. They are down to earth, funny, caring and generous. They use flat shoes, occasionally have bags under their eyes and don’t pretend that they have everything under control. Some are more well off than others but you wouldn’t be able to tell. We are all just mums trying not to screw up our kids. They are my people. Our group has now grown to almost thirty mums and I can easily call half of those my friends. Our kids are growing up together and its amazing watching them move from stage to stage. We ask each other for advice and share our almost daily horror stories that go hand in hand with motherhood.
Thanks to these ladies I feel as if I have, at long last, put down roots. Jhb finally feels like home and I now have the support base that I didn’t realise I needed.