• A public letter of apology to Peppa Pig

    Dear Peppa, I owe you an apology. I know this probably comes as a surprise since we became besties over the last few weeks but the truth is, I didn’t always like you. In fact, I have said some rather…unpleasant things about you and it’s been eating at me. Now I need to get this off my chest so that we can carry on with a clean and pure friendship. Apologies This isn’t easy and I think it’s best that we get the worst out of the way first. It is possible that I may have, on occasion,… compared your face to a deformed penis. There, I said it. I’m…

  • The curious case of Girly

    I can’t remember when exactly it started but my daughter created an imaginary friend called Girly about two years ago. I feel like I’m spelling it wrong but that’s the least of my problems here! Anyway, when Girly first made her (non)appearance in our lives it was through phone calls on toy cellphones. The whole thing was very cute and she would tell Girly about her baby sister or what she did at school and the usual nonsensical kid stuff that’s super adorable. We would pretend to talk to Girly as well and it was all cool. Until Girly died. (What the hellllllllll?????!!!!!) I found out about poor Girlys untimely…

  • Some of the stupid things I said/thought before having kids

    These are in no particular order: The kid will need to fit into our lifestyle, not the other way around (eye roll) Why would we need to eat at Spur? All we need is a feeding chair and we can eat at proper restaurants like we always do (I now have a Spur loyalty card) I’m going to get the baby into a routine as soon as we get home from the hospital. It’s all about consistency (give me a moment, I’m still laughing)  If the baby is drinking too often then just wait longer between feeds so she’s hungry (spoken like someone who has no kids and has never…